Social Media and Young People: A Psychologist's Guide for Parents

Anxiety, low self-esteem, sleep problems. Excessive social media use is affecting young people. Based on studies and the opinions of psychologists, we offer a practical guide for parents on how to identify risks and encourage healthy use.

Up to 95% of young people between the ages of 13 and 17 use social media, and a third of them do so "almost constantly." This almost universal digital immersion has coincided with a worrying increase in mental health issues in adolescence. Experts and studies point to a direct connection: teens who spend more than three hours a day on social media face twice the risk of suffering from symptoms of depression and anxiety.

For parents, navigating this new landscape is a monumental challenge. How do they balance the benefits of social connection with the documented risks to self-esteem and emotional well-being? Based on recommendations from psychologists and health organizations like the Mayo Clinic and the Child Mind Institute, we've developed a practical guide to understanding the problem and responding effectively.

Suggestion: A split image. On one side, a teenager smiling and connecting with friends on a screen. On the other, the same teenager, isolated and anxious in his room, illuminated only by his phone.

The negative impact of social media is not only due to the number of hours spent, but also to the quality of the interactions and content consumed.

* Constant Social Comparison: Social media showcases seemingly perfect lives. Teenagers are exposed to a constant stream of idealized images and achievements, which generates feelings of inferiority, low self-esteem, and body dissatisfaction. Forty-six percent of teens say social media makes them feel worse about their body image.

* Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): Fear of missing out (FOMO) is a form of social anxiety that is exacerbated by social media. Constantly seeing other people's activities can make you feel like your own life is less exciting or fulfilling.

* Cyberbullying: The anonymous or distant nature of online communication makes bullying easier. Spreading rumors, humiliating photos, or hurtful messages can have a devastating impact on a young person's mental health.

* Sleep Disruption: Nighttime social media use is a serious problem. The blue light from screens delays the release of melatonin, the sleep hormone, and constant notifications disrupt restful sleep, which is directly linked to a worse mood and increased irritability.

* Loss of Real Social Skills: Online communication lacks the nuances of body language and facial expressions. This not only leads to misunderstandings but can make face-to-face interactions feel more intimidating for young people.

"Technology can give your children more information than you do, and it doesn't understand your values. It won't be sensitive to your child's personality and won't answer their questions in a way that's developmentally appropriate," warns Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair.

Banning technology isn't a realistic solution. The goal is to teach young people to develop a healthy and balanced relationship with it. Psychologists recommend the following strategies:

1. Set Clear and Consistent Limits

* Create a Family Media Plan: Sit down with your child and establish rules about technology use. When teens participate in creating the rules, they're more likely to follow them.

* Define Technology-Free Zones and Hours: The most important rule is "no phones in the bedroom at night." Another area could be the table during meals. This promotes better sleep and fosters family connection.

* Limit Daily Time: Agree on a reasonable time limit for recreational use of social media (excluding homework time).

2. Be a Role Model

* Practice what you preach: If the rule is no phones at dinner, parents should follow it too. If your children constantly see you glued to a screen, you're sending a contradictory message.

3. Promote Open Communication

* Talk Regularly About Social Media: Ask your child how they feel about using it. Encourage them to tell you if anything worries or bothers them.

* Educate your child about unrealistic content: Explain that most of what they see on social media is an edited and curated version of reality. Teach them to be critical of the content they consume.

* Teach Digital Etiquette: Talk about what's not okay: spreading rumors, bullying, or sharing personal information. Teach them how to report and block inappropriate content or behavior.

4. Promote Offline Activities

* Involve them in their true interests: Encourage hobbies and activities that build their self-esteem based on what they do, not how they look. Sports, music, art, volunteering… these activities help them feel good about themselves and promote face-to-face interactions.

* Encourage Face-to-Face Contact: Make it easier for them to spend time with their friends in the real world. This is especially crucial for teens prone to social anxiety.

5. Monitor in a Balanced Way

* Know Their Accounts: Especially in the early teen years, it's reasonable to follow their accounts. Dr. Donna Wick advises being your child's friend on Facebook, but not checking their private messages unless there's a clear reason for concern, so as not to break trust.

The key isn't to demonize technology, but to empower teens with the tools and awareness to navigate it safely and healthily.