Parenthood in Europe: less satisfaction, more meaning in life

I once heard a beautiful phrase: "Having a child is like outsourcing a vital organ to run around outside and climb trees on its own." Having a child is as fascinating and meaningful as it can be exhausting and frightening.

A new study on parental satisfaction confirms this apparent contradiction: Compared to childless people, parents perceive their lives as more meaningful. At the same time, however, parents are not more satisfied with their lives than non-parents. On the contrary: Parents are often less satisfied .

This is what sociologists Marita Jacob and Ansgar Hudde from the University of Cologne discovered and published their findings in the Journal of Marriage and Family . For their study, the researchers used data from the European Social Survey of more than 43,000 respondents from 30 countries.

Jacob and Hudde found that both mothers and fathers feel a deeper sense of purpose in life – regardless of nationality and social status.

The situation is different when it comes to satisfaction . It not only depends heavily on the individual's life situation, it is also a question of the country's family policy. It's also a question of gender: mothers are less satisfied than fathers.

In Scandinavia there is little difference between parents and childless people

"Parents in challenging life situations are less satisfied," says Marita Jacob, a professor of sociology at the University of Cologne. Challenging means, for example, being a single parent, young, with low levels of education. Well, you could say, that's just how it is.

According to Jacob, however, this is not an immutable law of nature: "In Scandinavian countries, the differences between social groups are much less pronounced." Furthermore, in these countries, the difference in life satisfaction between parents and childless people is much smaller than, for example, in Central and Eastern Europe.

Childcare, parental benefits, and parental leave— these family policy measures work very well in Scandinavian countries , says Jacob. "My guess is that these measures have a societal impact. This means that children are not seen as a problem for parents alone, but as a collective task."

This attitude is also reflected in the corporate cultures of Scandinavian employers, says Jacob. It's more normal there for parents to start work and leave earlier, and important meetings are more likely to be adapted to the rhythm of families, the sociologist says.

Greater satisfaction through greater equality between the sexes

Women continue to primarily care for family life. In Germany , one in two women reduces her working hours to be able to care for her children . Only just under six percent of German men who work part-time do so for family reasons. Mothers also take the majority of parental leave in Germany .

Another factor that likely makes parents in Finland happier than parents in Germany is gender equality. Equal pay and thus a smaller gender pay gap in Scandinavian countries leads to happier women, says Jacob. This, in turn, has a positive impact on relationships and thus on the family.

"A child is not a project that can be managed alone"

Marita Jacob says she teamed up with other parents when her children were small. "Each of us always picked up several children from kindergarten." Anyone with small children knows that half an hour more or less time can be crucial in determining whether the day ends in a meltdown or not. Jacob therefore advocates that parents not only offer each other more support, but also actually take advantage of it.

Children are important. Not only to counteract an aging society that will not be able to care for its retirees without young people.

"But children also have value in themselves," emphasizes Marita Jacob. "They bring vitality, new ideas, and innovations into a society."

Therefore, the sociologist sees the states as having a primary responsibility. "Children shouldn't be their parents' problem if childcare is unreliable or there are problems at school. Children are a responsibility for society as a whole."

Source:

Journal of Marriage and Family: Parenthood in Europe: Not More Life Satisfaction, but More Meaning in Life, 2025 https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.13116