Teenage Pearls: "Just before a nervous breakdown, a teenager shows up and asks what's for dinner"

Yes, a teenage child simply has a mind of their own—and that's a good thing, after all, we all want our children to go their own way. However, some decisions and actions don't have to be fully understood...

These posts from platform X, formerly 'Twitter', show openly and honestly what living with a pubescent child can be like.

Quotes that sum up life with teenagers

Legend has it that when you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown, a teenager will immediately show up, ask what's for dinner, and then gag when you answer.

And it is true.

Leaving the house with my 12-year-old to take him to an appointment and having to leave my 16-year-old at home to watch dinner in the oven is a whole different kind of horror story.

Horror.

*My teenage sons are loud, laugh, and make inappropriate jokes.*

Me: "Shhh! The windows are open and the neighbors are outside!"

Son: "Yes, I'm also offended that they haven't laughed yet."

But really!

My 10-year-old just told me I have an "aura." What does that mean? Am I cool now?

Very cool.

My teenager got angry and stormed into his room, screaming, "I hate it here!"

Bro, I think you're speaking for all of us right now.

Momentary hatred.

When I make my teenage son a sandwich, he looks at me like I'm the reincarnated savior, and I'll be honest: That's kind of nice.

Teenage logic: "I'm old enough to make my own decisions... unless those decisions involve getting up before noon."

Excluded

Me: "Did you wash your hair?"

My child: "Yes."

Me: "But you're not wet."

Child: "Oh, this week?"

Oops.

My 12-year-old daughter is having five of her friends over tonight. SOMEONE NEEDS TO HELP ME!!

That’s 6 at once!

"After I reprimanded my son for something minor, he replied, "Someone didn't get enough sleep!" So, yes, teenagers are funny."

Very funny...

"My teenager came into the living room and is sitting here with me. I don't know what to do. What's happening? Is this the Twilight Zone? Does he know he's not in his room?"

Help

"My 10-year-old: Oh, you just called Daddy a kid. My 13-year-old: I didn't call him "kid." I was just pointing out that he has trouble opening a child-resistant lock.

And how is your Sunday..."

Thanks for nothing...

"My teenager believed the washing machine when it said it only needed one more minute, and oh how I laughed and laughed."

Trust nobody.

"My son is traveling with his friends after graduating from high school. In three weeks, I've received exactly three messages telling me he's still alive: 1. "Flight canceled." 2. "Minor incident. Don't worry."

3. "No more data available."

Each one is rich in details and emotions..."

Thanks for the conversation.

I'm officially old.

My child just learned the word overrated and he is not afraid to use it

How overrated!

If I had a euro for every time I upset my child...

...I would be a millionaire.

Son: "Thanks for fixing my bike, Dad!"

Me: *try to give a thumbs up, but my fingers are stuck together with superglue*

Me: "Man, why am I the only good driver in this town?"

Child: "What about Dad?"

Child:

Me: "No."

No, neither does he.

"My son spilled all my iced coffee on the floor while I was searching under the couch for his tablet... so I could drink it in peace."

How nice of him!

During my son and his cousin's chess game:

Me: "Remember, this is just a game, so stay calm."

19-year-old nephew: "No problem, Uncle,"

Me: "I didn't talk to you."

He should know by now.

Me: *Put my burger in salad instead of a bun*

My son: "Is a giraffe coming to eat?"

No, it's healthy.

The female urge to apologize to Alexa when my child calls her stupid.

Poor Alexa.

My child made a sandwich with waffles, sourdough bread, and bacon. Now I'm scared of what it will be like when he's a teenager.

Sounds... delicious!

My daughter's favorite saying right now is, "You're overdoing it and doing too much," so today I'm going to do absolutely nothing to prove her wrong.

She'll look there.

My teenager caught me in a good mood the other day and asked if friends could sleep over on Sunday night. Now it's Saturday and I don't want to anymore, but I can't change my mind. Damn, he's good—he saw through me.

That was a stupid mistake.

I don't want to say it's because of the summer, but 3 of my daughter's last 4 meals have been pizza.

Understandable.

My children are staying with their grandparents for five days, and I just looked at my son's suitcase. He's packed his Rubik's Cube, juggling balls, and the entire Harry Potter series. No underwear.

Set priorities.

My son should go to law school, considering how much effort he just put into his latest argument, "Marshmallows for Breakfast."

Career prospects positive.

I showed the 17-year-old at work what Tinder looks like to me as a 29-year-old woman, and she said that these can't be my only options.

Dating life is hard.

Me: "Grandma sent you a postcard"

Daughter: "Is there money in there?"

First things first!

My son is turning 16. He asked me today if his present is his dream car. I said, "Of course! If your dream car is your brother's 5-year-old Kia, which you're only allowed to drive when he's not around, then yes: you're getting your dream car."

A dream.

Parenting is letting your teenager cook fried chicken even though you know there's a 90% chance you'll get salmonella.

Yummy.

Me: "What does this cloud look like to you?"

My wife: "Oh, I see a mother holding her newborn child in her arms."

My son: "I see an ass crack."

Well, at least he's creative.

Today our teenager asked where we keep the measuring cups because he wanted to make a protein shake.

In a blender...

With dimensions on the sides.

Better think longer.

Son: "Can we order a pizza tonight?"

Me: "No."

Son: "Why not?"

Me: "Okay. Good point."

Convinced!

I have spent a small fortune on my children over the years.

My son bought me a Coke for $1 at McDonald's and wants my money back immediately.

How grateful children can be!

Me: talking about one of my old high school teachers

My daughter: "He's dead, right?"

It wasn't that long ago!

My daughter has been talking to me for about 45 minutes, and I've said maybe 10 words in that entire time. That's perfectly normal.

As long as she still talks so much.

My daughter is only 9 and I have been afraid of her for years now.

It's only getting worse.

"Delicious! Thanks, Dad!" my son said about the soup for dinner.

Daughter: "I think you mean thank you to BOTH of us."

Because she didn't help, we asked why we should thank her.

She: "Because I asked him to cook them."

Great help!

I felt like a failure today, but then my daughter was asked to speak at a school awards ceremony. She held the minute's silence for a full 120 seconds. People were in a state of complete panic. That's my girl. I did something right.

Unpleasant.

I don't want to brag, but my teenager texts me "I love you." It's only after I've sent him money, but still.

The main thing is that he writes it.

It's 80s Day at my son's school today, so I made him walk there without a water bottle and told him to be home before the streetlights came on.

For the authentic feeling.

"I can't even remember what it feels like to be healthy. I'd like to experience that again before I commit." – My son, sick for three days, when asked if he'd like to sign up for a one-day soccer camp.

Not dramatic at all.

Daughter: "The janitor needs 30 hours to clean the entire school."

Me: "It's a big school."

Daughter: "He has to do it twice a day because we're so messy."

Me: "Do they still teach you math?"

But math is also difficult.

My son gave me the ultimate Mother's Day gift: He simply took all the cups and dishes from his room and moved the sink.

A miracle has happened!

Mother's Day:

Me: *sitting alone and reading my book*

Child: *sits on the armrest of my chair and calls his five friends via Facetime*

How nice.

Note for parents: Asking your teen to check on a package doesn't automatically mean they should bring it into the house. Now I know.

It's better to always be very precise.

"When is parkour training?" - my son, who stayed home from school today because, I quote, "he has such bad stomach pains that they would kill most people."

It probably wasn't life-threatening after all.

Me as a teenager: "Look at that idiot. Why is he running around in his yard looking at everything?"

Me as a 42-year-old: "I'm going to get a beer and go out on the lawn before it gets dark."

You just enjoy the little things in life.

Me: Come on, this place is beautiful! Let me take a photo!

Child: UGH OKAY!! *stands in front of a trash can and smiles angrily*

It was definitely a great holiday photo...

My daughter moved into her own apartment, and when her brothers visit, she turns off the lights they leave on and screams, "I'm paying for the electricity now!"

It took 25 years, but one of my children finally got it.

At least one person understood it.

Woman: The Pope has died.

Our child: Grandma will cry. Her king is dead.

That's one way to put it.

Daughter: "Why are you reading this book, Dad?" Me: "To be a better husband. A better father to you. To have a positive influence on our family."

She gave me a big hug and said, "I don't think it's going to work."

Sometimes children are just too honest.

Brigitte